It was The Name.

I was at George's party, had lost Vic 20 and Dermot, and was staggering around drunk with a new camera, when I cracked it. I had been staring at it all along. The realisation hit me like a cartoon frying pan. DOOIIINNNNGGG. Birds carouselled around my head, I collapsed out of the kitchen and into the living room, fumbled around like a fool for some paper. Then leapt to my feet and ran laughing to the bedroom to tell all and sundry - I've cracked it! It had been staring me in the face all along. It was June 2nd 2001 - 2.30 a.m.

For some reason, this site always felt like a search. I kept pushing around. Why? Pushing, feeling all the time that I was looking for an answer when I didn't even know the question. I was guessing, hoping that I would sense the answer when it showed up.

One puzzle - how to follow Razzle? This thing had to deliver but I was scared. Where to go after Heathrow, when the 747 is glimmering across the sky and we're not on it. Where can I possibly take you now?

It's the opening scene of Get Carter and intercity tracks are lowering their way below the wheels of a train. Jack's heading back up north to find out What Happened. Get The Name. Find out Why and Get The Bastard. And Jack ends up dead on a slag-heap as black as the pathos that had been running under the entire film. I didn't want that to happen in the DPS. So I had to see the end. I had to have faith in the end, or I knew that I would be fighting it and nothing would come. So I kept building.

And I found it - with your help. Found the answer before I even knew what the question was. It's been weaving it's way through this website all along. ..she introduced herself..Hi? X.. Office Bomb is not the name..Untitled Interzone..I always feel like somebody's watching me..I Lav Dogs I Lav Ponys..the little silver thing around her neck..No Logo..Rocco Ritchie.."This One"..name names..there's no dogs and no ponies..

And I saw inside a song. A closer - The Dog And Pony Show. "Self-referential hoo-ha" you'll protest but is it a blinder or what. No, we will not interview you..do it myself then..What's in The Name, DP? I was cracking The Name. And I am now very confident I can take you all the way..if you like..

..back across an out-of-town carpark and in by the kitchen, along ill-lit corridors where dancers paint their nails, where stand-ups practice gags on guitarists too busy doing their tunings, and where blood simple thugs will show you their guns. Through the wings and right up to the curtain at The Dog And Pony Show.

It's Wall Street slang for a botched aggressive take-over. A traditional and well established circus event. A notorious act of sado-masochism. A humble village fete. A business presentation from a cold-caller or a middle American colloquialism for "cheap thrill"

I know now I've been looking for an answer to The Name on the internet. And the question was plastered along the top of the cheerful spleen and neon ideal, guerrilla journal/ism, defensive spits and subconscious drifts, everything and nothing, all along. In orange capitals. A magnet trailing a multiple choice of warm up in its wake.

Why did I go with The Name? What did it mean to me? The clash of the incompatible? Animal nature that waits backstage in us all? Sounded like it rawwked the heavens? The underclass versus the manor born? East End boys and West End girls? A song by Shellac? Two little lambs dressed as the inedible? The real answer to The Name hit me like a cartoon frying pan and I saw the end and the end was not a slag-heap of pathos, or ten million pounds of Hollywood glucose.

I must go back..come with me, if you like..all are welcome but especially if you have a fear of flying. I think phobics will like it a lot. Personally I'm at peace on Bach's Remedy, available in any health store. Taken not as directed but a double dose into a glass of airport wine. And wait. HOME