AT THE DRIVE BY

I was just stepping out of the launderette when I couldn't help staring at a stretched limousine parked at a sharp angle outside and who should be poking out through the roof and wavering around under a bottle of champagne but that Nelly Furtado Well I hitched my laundry over my shoulder and was about to walk on when Nelly's voice rose up whoa Dog And Pony Show I stopped and turned to see a passenger door fall open and Edward Norton collapse onto the pavement shouting where is he let me shake the bastards hand Sadie Frost followed him out Oi spray something punky and street level across my Louis Vuitton bag she asked Punk is soo two thousand purred Vincent Gallo to Meg Matthews as they elbowed their way through the hatch Someone please tell Covent Garden the latter rolled her eyes Just keep keepin it real Edward and then Icelandic band Sigur Ros hugged me so hard I choked I'm not real I whispered I lie to myself all the time But it's the lies that make it real Cat Deeley pointed out confusingly as she breezed back to the car with several cartons of takeaway falafel and some Nurofen Melts for Joaquim Phoenix Not unlike Des Esseintes the decadent protagonist of Huysmans seminal Against Nature a text which enraptured Wilde drawled novelist and occasional chauffeur Harry Crews firing the remainder of his Kool Full Flavor at a shop window and watching Cat's ass as she clambered back in We wish we could be like you they all cried before the limo took advantage of a gap in the traffic and shot off

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